Part Two : Cancer Battle
Hi
everyone! I am really sorry about how late I am posting part two but I have
been extremely busy revising for my exams which have finally finished! They
have been so stressful but I am so glad they are all done and out of the way!
Thank you so much if you have read part one it really means a lot and I am so
chuffed about the fact I have hit more than 5000 views! In this post I will be
carrying on from part one where I will talking about my cancer treatment, if
you have not read part one please do go and read it as it will make more sense
to you about my battle when you’re reading this post.
Arriving at the Royal Marsden Hospital
I remember lying in a stretcher in an ambulance on my way to the Royal Marsden Hospital (RMH) scared about my treatment and what the hospital was going to be like. As soon as I got to the hospital I was greeted by a lovely nurse called Kate (one of the best nurses in the world) who took me to my new room (well the paramedics wheeled me in my stretcher as I was still immobile,) being immobile was made even worse by the fact that I was going to get so weak with the chemotherapy meaning I would not have any energy to do any exercises. I was still nervous about everything as I was so used to the intensive care team but I soon found out that everyone at the RMH were so lovely and friendly. The next day after arriving at the RMH I started my first cocktail of chemotherapy, this is one of the treatments for cancer and it is basically a medicine either injected through your veins or given orally, the medicine kills the cancer cells but has the most viscous side effects.
At St Georges hospital they put a hickmen line in me, a hickmen line is basically is a line put under your skin of your chest (or in my case put in my left side above my hips because they couldn’t find a vein in my chest) and into a large vein just above your heart. Hickman lines are life savers because instead of having needles put in you every time you have treatment ,the hickmen line is used which is permanently inside you to enable blood to be taken or IV treatments like chemotherapy to be administered without feeling any pain at all! It is placed through surgery under general anaesthetic, after surgery the area around was painful but the pain eventually faded away after a few days. A disadvantage of having hickman line is that it gets infected easily, especially once you’ve had chemotherapy and your blood levels start to go down so you have no immunity to fight against the infections meaning I would often end up in hospital to be treated with antibiotics.
I know I have said this so many times but from the bottom of my heart I want to say a massive thank you to the Royal Marsden doctors, nurses, school room, play specialist, teenage cancer trust and all the staff for helping me fight my cancer battle. Without these guys my battle would of been non-existent, each one these people put in so much effort and time just for me and that is something I will never forget. I would also like to thank my community nurses in my local hospital (Rainbow ward Margate) for taking care of me whilst I was at home. Most importantly I would like to thank my friends and family for sticking by me throughout my battle.
Arriving at the Royal Marsden Hospital
I remember lying in a stretcher in an ambulance on my way to the Royal Marsden Hospital (RMH) scared about my treatment and what the hospital was going to be like. As soon as I got to the hospital I was greeted by a lovely nurse called Kate (one of the best nurses in the world) who took me to my new room (well the paramedics wheeled me in my stretcher as I was still immobile,) being immobile was made even worse by the fact that I was going to get so weak with the chemotherapy meaning I would not have any energy to do any exercises. I was still nervous about everything as I was so used to the intensive care team but I soon found out that everyone at the RMH were so lovely and friendly. The next day after arriving at the RMH I started my first cocktail of chemotherapy, this is one of the treatments for cancer and it is basically a medicine either injected through your veins or given orally, the medicine kills the cancer cells but has the most viscous side effects.
Hickmen Line
 |
| Hickmen Linehttp://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Linesports/Centrallines.aspx |
At St Georges hospital they put a hickmen line in me, a hickmen line is basically is a line put under your skin of your chest (or in my case put in my left side above my hips because they couldn’t find a vein in my chest) and into a large vein just above your heart. Hickman lines are life savers because instead of having needles put in you every time you have treatment ,the hickmen line is used which is permanently inside you to enable blood to be taken or IV treatments like chemotherapy to be administered without feeling any pain at all! It is placed through surgery under general anaesthetic, after surgery the area around was painful but the pain eventually faded away after a few days. A disadvantage of having hickman line is that it gets infected easily, especially once you’ve had chemotherapy and your blood levels start to go down so you have no immunity to fight against the infections meaning I would often end up in hospital to be treated with antibiotics.
Chemotherapy
My
course of chemo lasted five days, but the chemo only started to kick in after
the course was finished, I’ve never experienced any side effects like this
before and I cannot emphasise how bad it was. The side effects included extreme
tiredness (which was made even worse by the fact that I was already so weak),
feeling and physically being sick and many more, the side effects just went on
forever. The side effect that affected me most as a person was losing my hair,
my long thick black hair, I remember crying when I could see strands of hair on
my pillow and I was especially anxious as a girl because I was scared of what
people would think of me, including my friends. Believe it or not as my hair
was so thick not all of it fell out until my last ever course! All the doctors
were amazed about it because usually a patient’s hair would be completely gone
by their second round, of course mine was so thin and just constantly falling
out but I was kind of happy that I still had a little bit of hair left. The
chemotherapy does not just kill the cancer cells it also kills your normal
cells so once the chemo kicks in all my blood counts started to go down meaning
I needed blood or platelets transfusions when it was really low which sucked. I
was also prone to infections as I had no immunity because it has been killed by
the chemo, so until my blood counts came up I would have to be really careful.
Waiting for my blood counts to come up was hell as it would usually take about
a week and a half or even two; this meant that during those two weeks I had
lots of infections which were treated with antibiotics through my veins. I also
could not eat as chemotherapy changes your taste buds, meaning everything
tasted disgusting and when I say disgusting it was absolutely awful, so I just
did not feel like eating anything at all, this is made worse by the fact that
chemo makes you lose your appetite. To get all my vitamins and nutrients I was
fed through a feeding tube but this was nothing new to me as I already had it
in whilst I was in intensive care. They said to me the first chemo course was
going to my hardest and for about 3 weeks I was sick, extremely tired, nauseous
and just feeling really rubbish.
Recovery
It
took me a good month to recover from the chemo side effects, usually a patient
is allowed to go home after their blood counts have gone back up but my problem
was that I could not walk. Physiotherapists would try their best to get me out
of my bed using a hoist which made me feel like I was a rock on a building
site, as my bones felt glued together; it was not a nice feeling. I know it’s
not their fault but they were more worried about their health and safety than
getting me to actually do things myself which is totally understandable but I
was not an elderly person who has a less likely chance to recover than a 13
year old who is likely to recover much more quickly. It was not nice knowing
they were using machines that made me feel like an old person and I would cry
about it to my mum; I was just becoming so fed up with everything and I just
wanted to go home because I had already spent more than three months solid in
hospital. I was getting nowhere by being carried everywhere in a hoist, I had
enough of feeling like a stupid rock so one day as I was laying on my hospital
bed as I had been doing for the past 3 months, I told my mum that I want to get
up and in the wheel chair now and that I’m not staying in this bed any longer.
It was a weekend so there were no physiotherapists at the hospital but I had my
mum and my cousin who helped get me out of the bed, it was a very slow process
but with a lot of help I managed to get on the wheelchair. I wasn’t prepared to
be that girl who was just stuck in a hospital bed all day and I wanted to prove
everyone wrong by being able to walk out of that ward and go home with pride.
Everyday my mum and cousin would motivate me to get out of my bed and get into
my wheel chair so they could take me out for a walk around the hospital and
outside, it was nice to go out and get some fresh air and get away from all the
stress.
.jpg) |
| This is how a hoist looks |
Each
day I got stronger and stronger and soon I was able to get up and sit on my bed
without any help or support which was a massive step for me bearing in mind I
could not even move a single muscle a few months ago. My next step was to get
up and stand without any support which I was eventually able to do, days went
by and I was able stand up and take a few steps. All of the doctors, nurses and
hospital staff were amazed at my progress because they previously thought that
I would have to go to a hospice type of place to recover and learn to walk
again because of the condition I was in. They obviously had no idea about my
personality and how motivated I can be, if I am determined and have set myself
goals then I will do anything to achieve them, regardless of what condition I
am in.
Transferred To Margate Hospital/Home
Days
went by and I was still not home but I was sure getting stronger, doctors and
the medical team came to the decision that I should be sent to my local
hospital (Margate Rainbow ward) until my next round of chemotherapy as I was
still not able climb stairs without support from someone which would be a
problem if I went home. I was really upset when they decided that because I was
just so desperate to go home and actually sleep in my own bed. As much as the
Royal Marsden hospital staff made me feel at home and treated me so well, it
was just time for me to have a break away from all the hospitals. Doctors at
the RMH did understand my feelings but I guess they just wanted to be on the
safe side and they told me to go out in the morning and just go to the back to
my local hospital in the evening. It was actually not too bad staying in my
local hospital as I was out for most of the time and I had a lot of visitors
who kept me company, I remember the first day I arrived at Margate hospital a
group of girls from school came and visited me with lots of cards and present
which really cheered me up.
During
my stay at the hospital I had a lot of physiotherapy sessions where I did a lot
of exercises to build up the strength in my muscles. I was certainly getting
there, about five days staying at my local hospital I was finally discharged to
go home! I cannot explain how happy and excited I was to go home, something
that most people take for granted. This sounds so stupid but I basically had to
fight and prove them wrong just so I could home, never in my life have I been
in a position where I’ve had to fight so hard for something as simple as going
home.
Unfortunately I only spent five days at home until I had to go back into
hospital for my next round of chemo but it was definitely worth it; I felt so
refreshed and relaxed in an environment where there was no medical equipment
surrounding me or hearing that annoying beeping noise from the machines at
night. Most importantly I was sleeping in my own bed; after lying in a hospital
bed for more than 3 months your own bed just feels like heaven, I cannot
emphasise how happy I was. Before I was ill I booked tickets to see JLS
(boyband) in concert in July 2010, I did not think I would make it after what I
have been through but fortunately I was well enough to go to the concert in my
wheel chair. I want to say thank you to Amber and Hayley who are two amazing
friends who took care of me and wheeled me around all day. I was so happy that
I made it, especially as it was the day before I was due to be admitted for my
third round of chemo, the concert was absolutely amazing.
Chemotherapy Round Three
The
next day I went back to my second home (Royal Marsden) for my five days of
chemotherapy, this time it was not bad because it’s always the first two
courses which are really bad as your body is not used to such a powerful and
strong medication. I still did suffer from many side effects but it was nowhere
near as severe as my first two rounds of chemo, the good thing is that the side
effects kick in once the cycle in finished so during those five days I try and
do as much of the things as I can that I enjoy, especially eating wise because
the chemotherapy changes your taste buds so all food tastes horrible and
rubbery once it kicks in. I enjoyed doing creative art at the school room in
the hospital where you can also do some school work whist receiving treatment
if you wish to, the school room was a life saver as it kept me occupied during
my hospital stays and they have the most amazing teachers who are caring and so
understanding about your situation even if I was not feeling well they would
come and play games or do some art with me whilst I was in bed. They are the
most amazing teachers I have met who do so much for young people like me and I
will never be able to thank them enough. I had so much support from other
departments like the teenage cancer trust and the play specialist where my
hospital stays were bearable and kept me fighting throughout my battle.
After
my third course of chemo finished I was able to go home for a few weeks until
my blood levels came up which was great but it was never a break away from
hospitals. I had a cocktail of tablets to take at home for precaution as my
immune system was low. When my HB and platelets were low I would have to go
into my local hospital to have a transfusion so I was on the safe side with my
breathing. I remember having a nose bleed that lasted about 2 hours because my
platelets were about 40 billion when it should be around 150-450 billion,
it was not a great feeling I will tell you that. My mum would regularly check
my temperature; if it was over 37.5 I would need to go into hospital as it may
be a sign of an infection that needed to be treated immediately. My time at home
was spent relaxing and sleeping as I was really exhausted from chemo, I also
had community nurses visiting me at home for blood tests which was good as I
did not have to go into hospital for them. Community nurses are nurses who come
and visit you at home and do your blood tests or any medical needs, my
community nurses were amazing and were so co-operative which was fab. Even
though my time at home was minimal it was just nice to have a glimpse of your
own space before going back into hospital. I had three courses of
chemotherapy left which overall went well but I did suffer from the usual side
effects and infections.
CT Scan/Blood Clot
After my fourth round my chemotherapy i had a CT scan to check if my treatment
was actually working and everything was going in the direction. I got my CT
scan results a few hours later and the good news was the chemotherapy
was definitely working and the tumour was being killed but
unfortunately doctors found a blood clot near my heart which was very
dangerous for me especially as I was on treatment. I was really in shock just
as everything was going in the right direction it felt like my life was falling
apart again, I was so lucky that I had a CT scan because I had no symptoms of
having the blood clot. I was not allowed to go home in case something happened
so I was sent to my local hospital for further assessments, doctors at the RMH
assured me and my family that I will be fine but it was just the thought it was
in my heart really scared me of what was going to happen. All sorts of thoughts
were going through my head, it was finally confirmed that I needed to be
treated with an injection every day. Wow that was a lot of information to take in
by one doctor, not only did I have to take my cocktail of tablet but yes an
extra injection was added too.
Doctors thought that the blood clot was a side
effect caused by the high dose of chemotherapy but it is rare; trust me to get
it! The injection was injected into my arm every day, I was so grateful
for the doctors for identifying the clot early as it could have killed me. It
was really awful being stabbed in my arm everyday but I just kept going as I
knew there is someone out there worse than me. For me to go home and still be
able carry on my injection without going to hospital every day I had an
insuflon catheter inserted in me. An insuflon is a small plastic tube
that was placed under the skin of my arm and was used to inject my
medicine in instead of being stabbed with a needle every day I was only poked
once and the catheter lasted about 4 days before it needed to be change. The
influlon meant I was able to go home and my mum or I could inject myself with
the medication to dissolve the heart clot, as much as it was painful being
poked it made my life so much easier especially as I was allowed to go
home.
After my fifth course of chemotherapy my hickmen line got infected and needed to be surgically removed immediately, as I only had one more round of chemotherapy they did not replace it with another one instead they put a PICC line in my arm. A PICC line is a long, thin, flexible tube known as a catheter. It’s put into one of the large veins of the arm, near the bend of the elbow. It’s then threaded into the vein until the tip sits in a large vein just above the heart. It was uncomfortable like the hickmen line but I guess it beats not having to be stabbed by needles all the time!
 |
| Insuflon |
After my fifth course of chemotherapy my hickmen line got infected and needed to be surgically removed immediately, as I only had one more round of chemotherapy they did not replace it with another one instead they put a PICC line in my arm. A PICC line is a long, thin, flexible tube known as a catheter. It’s put into one of the large veins of the arm, near the bend of the elbow. It’s then threaded into the vein until the tip sits in a large vein just above the heart. It was uncomfortable like the hickmen line but I guess it beats not having to be stabbed by needles all the time!
Final Round Of Chemotherapy
In
September 2010 I had my last round of chemotherapy, this time the chemo went
through my PICC line which was quite annoying as my arm was attached to the
drip for 5 days straight. The chemo overall went well and I was able to go home
after my course, it was a great feeling knowing that I didn’t need to come back
for another round of chemo although it was hard saying goodbye to all the
nurses, doctors and hospital team. They were all so lovely and made my hospital
stay so bearable and kept me fighting. Without the RMH medical team I don’t think
I would be here especially with the condition I was in when I was transferred
there.
A
few days after I went home my PICC line got infected, it was the perfect timing
but I still needed to be treated with IV antibiotics so again I spent a week in
hospital having antibiotics. In my next appointment at the RMH I had the PICC
line surgically removed, I felt really empty not having anything attached to me
but it was an amazing feeling. I was able to sleep on both sides after six
months of being forced to sleep on one side.
CT/PET Scan
I
was booked in for CT scan to check if everything was functioning well and
most importantly if my cancer has completely gone, I was really nervous about
what the results was going to be, I was just praying and hoping that my
consultant was going to tell me it’s all gone. A week later I attended clinic
to see my consultant, it was really strange going to the RMH outpatient
building and not the inpatient; I mean who would of thought me the girl who
could not move a muscle six months ago be in the outpatient building having
finished her treatment? My consultant was absolutely lovely, she was so pleased
and thrilled to see me so well, she then broke the news to me my scan was clear
apart from one tiny little tumour in my stomach which she was not sure whether
it was cancerous or not. I was really gutted to hear that I was not cancer free
yet and really worried, she told me I need to have a PET scan to confirm it is
cancerous or not. If it was she insisted I needed to have radiotherapy just on my
stomach but it would only last a week.
A
week later I had a PET scan, it was the first time I have ever had a PET scan and
boy was it scary. A PET scan is basically where you have a nuclear medicine
injected into you and you have to lie on the bed of the scanner, which will be
moved into the centre of the scanner. During the scan I had to have my arms
over my head and was not allowed to move at all as it would affect the imaging
results. The scan lasts about an hour and it is really uncomfortable I remember
crying my eyes out as I really did not like being stuck in a tight spaced
machine for more than hour; my arms really started to ache and was just a
horrible experience.
CANCER FREE
It was time to find out my scan results a week after I had
had my PET scan, I remember really dreading and praying for the doctor to tell
me I'm cancer free and that the lymph node she found on my scan was nothing, I
entered my consultants room and the first thing she said to me was "YOUR
SCAN IS CLEAR", me and my mum broke down into tears with happiness. This
is the day I was waiting for ever since I was lying on that hospital bed having
chemotherapy; it was like I had won the lottery but even better. I literally
cannot put into words how much it meant to me just to hear a few words that
changed my whole life for the better. That feeling of knowing you have
beat cancer is just insane!
I know I have said this so many times but from the bottom of my heart I want to say a massive thank you to the Royal Marsden doctors, nurses, school room, play specialist, teenage cancer trust and all the staff for helping me fight my cancer battle. Without these guys my battle would of been non-existent, each one these people put in so much effort and time just for me and that is something I will never forget. I would also like to thank my community nurses in my local hospital (Rainbow ward Margate) for taking care of me whilst I was at home. Most importantly I would like to thank my friends and family for sticking by me throughout my battle.
Normality
Everything
was going in the right direction and I soon went back to school and my life was
getting back to normal which is all I wanted. When I went back to school I wore a wig as I really did not want to show my bald head to everyone, thanks to Little Princess Trust I was donated a beautiful black wig that looked exactly like my old hair. Even though it was so itchy and uncomfortable I loved wearing it made me feel like a 'normal person' during my treatment. Soon I was able to stop all my medication including my injections for blood clot, it was just so great to have my life and be medication free!
.jpg) |
| My Wig |
Relapse
Unfortunately in April 2011 my
cancer returned and I was in a position where I had to fight for my life again. In my next post I will be talking about my second cancer battle so read
that when I post it if you want to know more.
Check yourself out!
Another
important thing that I forgot to mention in my first post is if you are
experiencing any symptoms like tiredness, unexplained weight loss or you have
found a lump on any part of your body, please do go and get it checked by your
GP. The earlier the cancer is suspected and diagnosed the more easy it will be
to be treated. For more information about cancer go and check out: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cancer/Pages/Symptoms.aspx
Thank
you all so much for reading and I hope this has helped you if you are going through a similar situation or if this has given you any information about my battle.
RIP Stephen Sutton an inspirational teenager who himself had cancer but managed to raise over 3 million pounds for Teenage Cancer trust. If you would like to donate to teenage cancer trust please click on this link https://www.justgiving.com/stephen-sutton-tct .
Kirushni
xxx
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